I remember when I was growing up that I was a happy child but I felt a bit different like I didn’t totally belong. I didn’t have anyone close with whom I could share my deepest feelings so held it deep within me. I started drinking alcohol at a very young age and for the first time in my life when I was drunk, I felt relaxed and at ease and as if I was at home. I totally loved it. I was only fifteen years of age when I first attempted suicide and as a consequence of the failure to kill myself I ended up drinking even more. I made a decision to stop drinking just before I was twenty one as I realised that this was not my path. I had no support to stop but through sheer determination I managed to break free, and to this day have not touched another drop of alcohol. After stopping drinking I started to have panic attacks and was diagnosed with depression at the end of my 20th year. I withdrew contact from other people as I struggled to socialise. After an overdose and several suicide attempts, I made stubborn efforts to change my life. I refused to continue taking psychotic medication and changed my life routines. I felt a strong anger towards life and persevered to find a way to feel better with my life.
I started to practice Aikido and work with breathing techniques; I practiced mediation and later found the 12 step program (Narcotics Anonymous) which I joined for many years. Through dogged determination to change I went to over 1000 meetings in the first year as I shared my story and connected with many people. I then found ‘Osho’ active meditations and personal development groups and started to feel alive. In 2008 I met my wife who has been the greatest source of inspiration for me and a wonderful role model. Together, we focused on our personal development on a daily basis but struggled to find balance in our relationship until we had our AuraTransformaton in 2013. The AuraTransformation signified the biggest change in my life and continues to this day to support my development and growth.
I’m still here and it feels amazing. I feel so grateful to be alive and to have the opportunity to create a better, more positive and loving life each and every day. For so many years I thought that life was out to get me and now I understand that as I embrace life, so it embraces me. My life develops and improves day by day as I take more and more responsibility for who I am and what I do. As I look into the future I can see my life mapped out, reflecting my true dharma, my life purpose and I love who I am and what I do. The Hope Project is just part of what I love to do. I want to spread this hope into the future so that others can benefit and feel optimistic about their life to come.
I feel great optimism about my own life and my journey ahead. I want to live a long and fulfilling life together with my family; my wife who is my Spirit Mate, and our children. I also long for grandchildren so hopefully there will be many of these too. Today, I can see that I’m not afraid of failure and I am not afraid of death and due to the beautiful life that I have created I no longer wish to die. Today, I truly enjoy being me. I love myself unconditionally in a deep and profound way. This is something that I would never have previously thought possible. I recognise that I do not need to hide anything and my mental health is nothing to be ashamed of; for I am proud of the strength that I have gained from my challenging experiences. It has been a tough path to walk but my journey is far from over and I will continue to develop, heal and grow.
Thank you for reading this and please spread the message to all human kind. There is hope for everyone <3 <3 <3